Our story begins with me talking to this dumbass girl that has(well, I guess now it's “had”) a crush on me. She's also this asshole's girlfriend that threatened to kill my family and made my life
a living hell for 4 months with a bunch of stupid fucking psycho babble. So I stole his girlfriend and then told her I was a bisexual so she'd lose interest, but to no avail. What you're about to read is
where the conversation left off.
I'm not going to name any names here, including mine so I'm replacing them.
Me = me(obviously)
Bethany Davidson= the girl
Rick = psychokid
IF YOU FIND THIS BORING I ENCOURAGE YOU TO KEEP READING. HILARITY ENSUES ABOUT HALFWAY IN.
(9:04:34 PM) Bethany Davidson: hey.can u talk now?
(9:04:40 PM) Me: yep
(9:04:44 PM) Bethany Davidson: koolio
(9:04:53 PM) Me: Yup haha. What's up?
(9:05:16 PM) Bethany Davidson: nothin just chillen listening to music wbu?
(9:06:24 PM) Me: Watching TV. Really bored.
(9:06:41 PM) Bethany Davidson: yeahhh how was ur day?
(9:07:47 PM) Me: Boring haha. Yours?
(9:08:04 PM) Bethany Davidson: actually funn for once
(9:20:17 PM) Bethany Davidson: omg killl me
(9:21:06 PM) Me: Sorry was gone :////
(9:21:10 PM) Me: How was it fun?
(9:21:43 PM) Bethany Davidson: well i went out on the boat for like 5 hrs
(9:22:32 PM) Me: Well that's nice. With who?
(9:22:42 PM) Bethany Davidson: my fam
(9:23:02 PM) Me: Haha should've figured.
(9:23:24 PM) Bethany Davidson: yeppp
(10:34:38 PM) Bethany Davidson: u okay? ur kinda quiet today
(10:35:14 PM) Me: Yeah sorry talking to a friend I haven't talked to in forever. What's up?
(10:35:43 PM) Bethany Davidson: umm nothing...keep talking to ur friend.
(10:36:05 PM) Me: It's okay I can do both it's just we don't have much to talk about.
(10:36:33 PM) Bethany Davidson: yeahh we never do.so rele its fine..ill be here when u wanna talk
Yes, “rele”.
(10:36:45 PM) Me: Alright :D
(11:07:12 PM) Me: Alright she's gone.
(11:07:15 PM) Me: So what's up?
(11:07:24 PM) Bethany Davidson: umm nm u?
(11:07:46 PM) Me: Not much. Just playing some guitar. You okay?
(11:07:56 PM) Bethany Davidson: yeahh
(11:09:02 PM) Bethany Davidson: y wouldnt i be okay??
(11:09:24 PM) Me: Idk you just seem a little uneasy with the "umms" lol
(11:10:01 PM) Bethany Davidson: okay?? yeah im totally fine.a lil depressed about idk what but im good
(11:10:33 PM) Me: Well what are you depressed about? It must be something. Something can't happen for no reason.
(11:11:32 PM) Bethany Davidson: no.i have depression so it is about nothing
(11:11:46 PM) Me: I'm sorry to hear that.
(11:12:17 PM) Bethany Davidson: its all good haha talking and music makes me feel better
(11:16:28 PM) Me: Ah well that's good. Do you ever take meds for it?
(11:17:22 PM) Bethany Davidson: nahhh its not that bad
(11:17:36 PM) Me: hmm
(11:18:04 PM) Bethany Davidson: yeahhh
(11:22:50 PM) Bethany Davidson: soo what do u wanna talk about?
(11:23:08 PM) Me: Idk. We don't have too much in common. You know anything?
(11:23:24 PM) Bethany Davidson: we dont??
This is where her intelligence really starts to shine.
“We don't have too much in common.”
“We don't??”
Fucking idiot. How could you not know whether or not you have things in common with someone?
(11:24:12 PM) Me: Well what do you think?
(11:24:51 PM) Bethany
Davidson: well i kinda thought we had a good amount of stuff but i
guess we rele dont.....
“Rele” Ugh....
(11:28:03 PM) Me: I was just talking to my friend and I
realized we went in a solid conversation for over an hour. And the
only reason it stopped was because she had to leave.
(11:28:18
PM) Me: So I'm just thinking that's why.
(11:29:38 PM) Bethany
Davidson: wow i guess Rick was rite about something
(11:30:21 PM)
Me: No Rick isn't right about anything. He's an idiot who think's
he's a genius because he can look up random shit on
wikipedia.
(11:30:38 PM) Bethany Davidson: whatever
MEANWHILE IN AN ENTIRELY DIFFERENT CONVERSATION WITH ONE OF THE ACCOMPLICES
(11:30:09 PM) Robert Stack: so I thought of
another possiblity of getting rid of her. you could say "this is
hard for me to do, but I'm going to be honest with you - I'm not
actually bi, I am straight, but I am a frequent liar"
(11:30:43
PM) Robert Stack: being bi isn't as bad as gay for catholics, but
being a blatant liar is much worse and that won't really get you as
hated
(11:31:11 PM) Me: Well she dates psychokid so it seems like
she has a fetish for compulsive lying
WE NOW RETURN TO THE ORIGINAL CONVERSATION
(11:32:31 PM) Bethany Davidson:
yeahh so i guess it rele wouldnt work between us....
(11:32:50 PM)
Me: Probably not. I might as well come out and say I'm a compulsive
liar as well.
(11:33:07 PM) Me: Although I am straight.
(11:33:09
PM) Me: Maybe.
(11:33:21 PM) Bethany Davidson: woowww so im gonna
go
(11:33:26 PM) Me: Why?
(11:33:46 PM) Bethany Davidson: b/c i
fucking hate ppl
Agreed.
(11:34:36 PM) Me: Chillax. It's
not like you leave the house anyway. I mean, there could be some
amazing guy waiting for you and it wouldn't really make a difference
if he existed or not.
Just for clarification, I don't seriously use the word “chillax,” I was just being an ass.
(11:35:58 PM) Bethany Davidson:
its not b/c of that..its b/c i actually feel for u...i thought u were
different...when ur just like every fucking guy thats in my life for
2 secs and walks rite out of it
BAWWWWWWWWWWWW ;_;
(11:36:08 PM) Bethany Davidson: fell**
(11:36:38 PM) Me:
Well I am different.
(11:36:45 PM) Me: I just have nothing in
common with you
(11:36:58 PM) Me: In fact, in an ironic twist of
things, this is most engaging conversation we've ever had.
(11:37:16
PM) Bethany Davidson: yeah and its about to end.
(11:38:26 PM) Me:
Why?
(11:39:35 PM) Bethany Davidson: cause think about it....i
fell for u...hard..and u just lied about how u felt
(11:40:11 PM)
Me: Don't twist my words. I didn't say that. I just said I was a
compulsive liar.
(11:40:21 PM) Me: Nowhere near the caliber of
Rick though
(11:40:37 PM) Bethany Davidson: yeah okay
whatever
(11:42:04 PM) Bethany Davidson: im not a liar okay? i
dont want someone that lies to me ...ive been lied to my whole
life...and i want to die b/c of it..\
(11:42:31 PM) Me: I can't
help it though
(11:42:43 PM) Me: It's a mental disorder called
infactualtetanitus
“Infactualtetanitus”
Lulzzz. I could tell this chick anything.
(11:43:20 PM) Bethany Davidson:
yeah and i have a mental disorder called depression which was caused
by lies....
(11:44:07 PM) Me: I'm gonna be honest here for a
second
(11:44:39 PM) Me: You seem like the kind of person who's
pretty much given everything but pisses it all away trying to force
some image of being depressed. I've seen depressed people. You
aren't.
(11:46:00 PM) Bethany Davidson: i cut....okay? just a few
nites ago...i didnt want to tell u...didnt want u to worry hows that
for depressed????? uve never seem me.....u dont know me
(11:46:17
PM) Me: That just proves my point.
(11:46:29 PM) Me: I don't
believe you cut tbh
(11:47:34 PM) Bethany Davidson: whatever...if
u cant believe me then i cant talk to u...i thought u could help me
with anything...i thought u were the one guy who can turn my life
around and actually make me happy
(11:48:22 PM) Me: I'm sure
there's a lovely ditch-digger or janitor that can be that guy if you
catch my drift.
Haha XD. BURN.
(11:48:47 PM) Bethany
Davidson: u think im a whore??
(11:49:12 PM) Me: ....no
(11:49:19
PM) Me: That's not what I was hinting at.
*Facepalm*
(11:50:09 PM) Bethany
Davidson: u were lying the whole time......andrew was rite...about
everything that had to do with you.....
(11:50:55 PM) Me: Nah
that's not true.
(11:51:02 PM) Me: I was just really blazed last
night.
When in doubt, blame drugs.
(11:51:24 PM) Bethany
Davidson: u said u werent like that.....
(11:51:38 PM) Me: I said
I don't do any addictive or harmful substances.
(11:52:30 PM)
Bethany Davidson: so u dont rele love me?
(11:52:46 PM) Me: I do,
just not in that way.
(11:53:12 PM) Bethany Davidson: im gonna
go
(11:54:30 PM) Bethany Davidson: bye.
(11:54:43 PM) Me: k
*Sigh* I guess this isn't goodbye.
(12:12:38 AM) Bethany
Davidson: u blocked me on facebook?? what the fuck??
(12:13:24 AM)
Me: Just trying to protect you
(12:13:43 AM) Bethany Davidson:
protect me from what??
(12:14:34 AM) Me: The thing I have to
protect you from of course.
(12:15:24 AM) Bethany Davidson: wow u
dont know??
(12:15:47 AM) Me: I do know, it's just too hard for
me to tell you.
(12:16:07 AM) Bethany Davidson: fucking tell
me....
(12:17:45 AM) Me: I can't.
(12:17:53 AM) Bethany
Davidson: y not?
(12:18:07 AM) Me: It's too difficult for
me.
(12:18:25 AM) Bethany Davidson: oh boo hoo be a guy
(12:18:28
AM) Me: If I told you, things between us would only get
worse.
(12:18:40 AM) Bethany Davidson: idc just tell me
(12:18:43
AM) Me: Look I'm crying right now.
(12:18:47 AM) Me: Don't put me
in this position
For the slow: there really isn't anything I'm “protecting” her from. I'm just fucking with her.
(12:18:55 AM) Bethany
Davidson: yeah so am i.....
(12:19:05 AM) Bethany Davidson: just
tell me...
(12:20:19 AM) Bethany Davidson: .......
(12:21:34
AM) Bethany Davidson: y the fuck r u crying anyway? u never cared.u
never liked me...i lied to me so u should be the one crying.....i
actually loved you okay??
(12:21:34 AM) Me <AUTO-REPLY>: I'm
not here right now
(12:22:14 AM) Bethany Davidson:
shouldnt***
(12:22:35 AM) Bethany Davidson: seriously just tell me
please??
(12:22:44 AM) Me: Fine
BACK TO THE ACCOMPLICE CONVERSATION
(12:15:53 AM) I not got milk: haha
(12:16:18 AM) I
not got milk: what will the thing be that you're trying to
protect?
(12:23:51 AM) Me: I'm just going to leave her hanging for
a few minutes and then say "Ugh I tried but I just can't"
(12:25:13 AM) Me: What can I do to make this funnier?
Like where could I take this?
(12:25:31 AM) I not got milk: oh
shit there's a bear outside!
BACK TO THE ORIGINAL CONVERSATION
(12:22:50 AM) Bethany
Davidson: k
(12:25:52 AM) Bethany Davidson: well??
(12:26:25
AM) Me: Ugh i'm sorry I just can't
(12:26:45 AM) Bethany Davidson:
wtf? u just said u would....is it that bad??
(12:26:51 AM) Me:
Yes
(12:26:56 AM) Me: OH SHIT THERE'S A BEAR OUTSIDE
(12:27:01
AM) Me: Uh h/o a sec
(12:27:38 AM) Bethany Davidson: uumm
okay??
(12:28:18 AM) Me: Uh wtf do I do? It's like banging on the
door. My parents are pretty fucking freaked.
(12:28:59 AM) Bethany
Davidson: theres no bearsin nc
“theres no bears in nc”
Are you fucking kidding me? I challenge anyone to find somebody this stupid.
(12:29:11 AM) Bethany
Davidson: nice try tho
(12:29:19 AM) Me: THat's hands down the
dumbest thing I've ever heard in my life.
(12:29:33 AM) Me: Would
you like a picture of it?
(12:29:54 AM) Bethany Davidson: nah im
good....just tell me what u were going to,....
(12:30:10 AM) Me:
H/o this thing isn't going away
(12:30:13 AM) Me: luckily I'm
upstairs
(12:30:17 AM) Me: It's at my porch door
(12:30:24 AM)
Me: Who do I call though? My sister is crying
(12:30:51 AM)
Bethany Davidson: u expect me to know?
(12:30:58 AM) Me: I'm
freaking out
(12:31:21 AM) Bethany Davidson: maybe its the karma
kicking in
(12:31:48 AM) Me: Yeah I said we have nothing in common
and now the imaginary, all-powerful, giant superman in the sky sent a
bear to my house.
Lol XD Christfag pwned
(12:32:20 AM) Bethany
Davidson: u lied to me...what goes around comes
around......
(12:32:52 AM) Me: I'm fucking freaked out
(12:32:59
AM) Me: You know what I saw right before this happened?
(12:33:15
AM) Me: "SEND THIS MESSAGE TO 5 PEOPLE BEFORE MIDNIGHT AND
REMOVE 5 FRIENDS FROM YOUR FACEBOOK ACCOUNT. IF YOU DON'T, A BEAR
WILL BE AT YOUR HOUSE WITHIN A HALF HOUR"
(12:33:18 AM) Me: I
shit you not
(12:33:23 AM) Me: I'm not even fucking around right
now
(12:33:41 AM) Me: Ok. The police are on their way
(12:34:02
AM) Bethany Davidson: will u just fucking tell me??
(12:34:10 AM)
Me: THIS IS MORE IMPORTANT RIGHT NOW
(12:34:18 AM) Me: DO YOU HAVE
A FUCKING BEAR OUTSIDE YOUR GOD DAMN HOUSE?
(12:34:36 AM) Bethany
Davidson: yeah okay nice cover up story.im going'
It's all a conspiracy, mannnnn.
(12:34:49 AM) Me: DO YOU
WANT A FUCKING PICTURE?
(12:36:06 AM) Me: I'm so fucking
scared
(12:36:08 AM) Me: what do i do
(12:37:03 AM) Me: I'm
crying my eyes out i'm in my closet
(12:37:08 AM) Bethany
Davidson: how should i know???well i guess i should believe you...the
bear isnt gonna do anything....
I got her to believe that a bear was sent to my house as a result of a non-existent chain-letter on face book. Can you say “gullible?”
(12:37:20 AM) Me: He keeps
banging on the door
(12:37:24 AM) Me: the police aren't here
yet
(12:37:32 AM) Bethany Davidson: yeah thats all hes gonna
do....
(12:37:34 AM) Me: and the facebook shit. HOW THE FUCK DO I
EXPLAIN THAT?
(12:37:54 AM) Bethany Davidson: ur on ur own
there....i dont know...
(12:39:00 AM) Me: OH SHIT
(12:39:05 AM)
Bethany Davidson: ?
(12:40:55 AM) Me: DON'T GO
(12:40:57 AM)
Me: STAY WITH ME
(12:41:14 AM) Bethany Davidson: Mr. Troll im not
going anywhere ok?
(12:41:19 AM) Me: OK
(12:41:21 AM) Me:
THANKS
(12:41:31 AM) Bethany Davidson: i wouldnt do that to
u.......
(12:42:02 AM) Me: Thanks. It means a lot.
(12:42:05
AM) Me: I'm scared shitless.
(12:42:21 AM) Bethany Davidson:
yeahhh i bet it does....i kno u r..
(12:44:04 AM) Bethany
Davidson: .........
(12:44:24 AM) Me: Police still aren't
here
(12:44:33 AM) Bethany Davidson: that sux
MEANWHILE, IN A CHATROOM WHERE 3 PEOPLE INCLUDING MYSELF ARE NOW IN ON THE FUN:
(12:43:47 AM) Jodie Foster: tell her your dad just tried to shoot it and got mauled
(12:44:11 AM) Me: Haha XD. Wait. What are you guys saying to her?
(12:44:12 AM) Robert Stack: nah it has to be something that can be explained later
(12:44:17 AM) Robert Stack: I'm not talking to her
(12:44:36 AM) Me: You should play my neighbor, Mackenzie.
(12:44:41 AM) Me: Tell her that there really is a bear
(12:44:49 AM) Jodie Foster: lol okay
RETURNING TO THE ORIGINAL CONVERSATION
(12:44:57 AM) Me: My dad's going outside to try to
shoot it
(12:45:02 AM) Bethany Davidson: awee
(12:46:34 AM)
Bethany Davidson: Me
(12:47:19 AM) Me: HOLY FUCKING SHIT IT GOT
MY DAD. I THINK HE'S OK BUT IDK YET ALL I KNOW IS THAT A GUNSHOT WENT
OFF AND NOW MY MOM'S SCREAMING
(12:47:50 AM) Bethany Davidson:
woww just stay calm ok?im here
(12:48:51 AM) Me: I CANT TAKE THIS.
ITS TOO MUCH
(12:49:05 AM) Bethany Davidson: so wat u gonna
do?
(12:49:38 AM) Me: IM STILL IN MY CLOSET
(12:49:50 AM)
Bethany Davidson: kk
(12:52:09 AM) Bethany Davidson: Me i love u
ok? i always will...i dont want us to be like this...probaly the
wrong time for it..but it needs to be said...
(12:53:02 AM) Me: me
too but im so fucking scared my mom is crying my sister is screaming
idk what to do
(12:53:05 AM) Me: idk if my dad is ok
(12:53:24
AM) Me: i gave my neighbor your s/n cause she's watching it from her
porch
BACK TO THE CHATROOM
(12:46:53 AM) Me: Ok my dad's getting mauled now
(12:46:55 AM) Robert Stack: if she asks if you received the message, say yes and you blocked 5 people from your facebook
(12:47:58 AM) Jodie Foster: be like OMG DADDDDY
(12:48:28 AM) Me: This is awesome.
(12:48:46 AM) Jodie Foster: wow she's dumb
(12:48:47 AM) Robert Stack: lol
(12:48:54 AM) Jodie Foster: how does she not know this is fake
(12:48:57 AM) Robert Stack: did you not believe us?
(12:49:11 AM) Jodie Foster: lol no i believe you this is just like wowww
(12:52:20 AM) Me: say it's mackenzie, my neighbor and to tell Me that you think my dad is dead
NOW WE GO TO THE CONVERSATION BETWEEN JODIE AND BETHANY
Jodie Foster (12:55:00 AM): hey are you iming Mr Troll?
Bethany Davidson (12:55:28 AM): yeahhh
Jodie Foster (12:55:45 AM): is he still responding to you? He stopped talking to me
Jodie Foster (12:55:49 AM): I'm his neighbor
Jodie Foster (12:56:31 AM): he told me he was talking to you and i'm really worried
Bethany Davidson (12:56:58 AM): yeah i kno..
Jodie Foster (12:57:26 AM): can you tell him...I think his dad might be dead or something...the bear left him alone but he's not moving...
Jodie Foster (12:57:37 AM): i'm freaked tell him to say something to me
BACK TO THE ORIGINAL CONVERSATION
(12:53:38 AM) Bethany Davidson: ok??
(12:54:03 AM)
Me: tell me what she says
(12:54:11 AM) Bethany Davidson:
k..
(12:56:53 AM) Me: dont go
(12:57:14 AM) Bethany Davidson:
im not...
(12:58:17 AM) Bethany Davidson: talk to ur
neighbor....she said ur dads not moving...
(12:58:45 AM) Me: OH
FUCK
(12:59:08 AM) Bethany Davidson: Me just stay calm
(12:59:38
AM) Me: FUCK IT IM GOING OUT THERE
(12:59:45 AM) Bethany Davidson:
no
(1:00:30 AM) Bethany Davidson: Me????/
(1:00:34 AM) Bethany
Davidson: dont go!(1:18:39 AM)
BACK TO THE CHATROOM
(12:59:19 AM) Jodie Foster: Me stop talking to her suddenly and i'll like tell her you ran outside to face the bear
(1:01:51 AM) Jodie Foster: i'm FREAKING out on her
(1:02:00 AM) Me: Omg this is so great.
(1:02:09 AM) Me: Teamwork <3
BACK TO THE CONVERSATION BETWEEN JODIE AND BETHANY
Jodie Foster (1:00:24 AM): omg he just ran out there wtf did you say to him!!??
Bethany Davidson (1:00:48 AM): he said he was...i told him not to.....
Jodie Foster (1:01:24 AM): omg!! this is so fucked up!! why was he talking to you and not me???
Bethany Davidson (1:01:57 AM): idk.i was just thinking the same thing
Jodie Foster (1:02:19 AM): omg i don't even see him anymore wtf did you tell him to do!
Bethany Davidson (1:02:37 AM): i didnt tell him anything
Jodie Foster (1:03:00 AM): is this your idea of making him some kind of hero??? He can't take on a fucking bear!!
Bethany Davidson (1:03:28 AM): okay what the fuck is up with ppl thinking im crazy?
Jodie Foster (1:03:56 AM): i'm pretty sure i never said that, but i think we've got bigger problems than your mental issues!
Bethany Davidson (1:04:15 AM): yeahh ok
Jodie Foster (1:04:43 AM): yeah i'll be sure to tell Me you don't give a shit that him and his dad have been mauled by a bear
Bethany Davidson (1:05:17 AM): avtually i do care...... i love Me ok?
Jodie Foster (1:06:08 AM): you sure show it...
Jodie Foster (1:06:19 AM): ugh finally the cops showed upp
Bethany Davidson (1:06:25 AM): yeahh i do...
Jodie Foster (1:06:27 AM): ambulance too
Bethany Davidson (1:06:38 AM): thats good
Jodie Foster (1:06:39 AM): yeah right, why am I even telling you this crap huh?
BACK TO THE CHATROOM
(1:07:42 AM) Jodie Foster: i'll just say they carried you out on a stretcher and you were calling my name and sayning you love me
(1:07:49 AM) Robert Stack: just keep your sn online overnight
(1:07:55 AM) Jodie Foster: and then i'll tell her "back off bitch"
(1:08:54 AM) Robert Stack: *sigh* if only we could get this posted on the radio or tv
(1:09:05 AM) Me: Man I hope this saves to my chatlogs. I'm definitely posting this shit somewhere.
(1:09:12 AM) Jodie Foster: hahaa
(1:09:12 AM) Robert Stack: ya its worth it
(1:10:25 AM) Jodie Foster: this bitch is priceless
BACK TO JODIE AND BETHANY
Jodie Foster (1:07:59 AM): omg....they've got the bear...
Bethany Davidson (1:08:09 AM): kool
Jodie Foster (1:08:49 AM): The EMTs ran to the back of the house and they're putting his dad on a stretcher, but i can't see Me yet
Bethany Davidson (1:09:04 AM): kk
Jodie Foster (1:09:36 AM): ...
Jodie Foster (1:09:55 AM): they're pulling him out on a stretcher and he's...calling my name..
Jodie Foster (1:10:01 AM): he says he loves me...
Bethany Davidson (1:10:13 AM): yeahh ok
Jodie Foster (1:10:27 AM): fuck you, and back off my man bitch....you don't even care about him
(1:11:36 AM) Me: I like how out of all of this, the only thing she disbelieves is me saying I love mackenzie.
(1:11:45 AM) Robert Stack: lmao
(1:11:49 AM) Robert Stack: hahahahahhahahahahhahahahaha
(1:12:03 AM) Robert Stack: so true
(1:12:06 AM) Jodie Foster:
Bethany Davidson (1:10:44 AM): u dont know me...
Jodie Foster (1:11:37 AM): and you don't know me, so i suggest you leave both of us alone, besides, who's going to be there for him in the hospital? huh? me, not you..
*Blocked*
RETURNING TO ORIGINAL CONVERSATION
Bethany Davidson: do u rele love ur neighbor???
She asks me this after I'm allegedly hauled off on a stretcher.